yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. Go after that dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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