I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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