I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
