I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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