how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
and you fell through a lawn chair
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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