East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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