Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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