it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it glows. i had to have it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
