The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
