no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need to align my fucking chakras
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