So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
