every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
