Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
