and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize