I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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