Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
