six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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