matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
