I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
