Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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