Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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