Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
