I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
