This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
