i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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