I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
