Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
