explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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