I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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