Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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