ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
