chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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