Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize