nut hugger
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
