When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
