You're completely useless in the revolution.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize