Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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