all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
