we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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