I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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