Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
