Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
