i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
