Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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