god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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