The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When are your genitals available?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think my moral compass just broke
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