Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
