Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
