What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
