i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
