i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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