how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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