Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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