It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
