so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
