He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
