I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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