I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
